The Sky is Falling!

1 November, 2007

I’m already sick of the latest conspiracy theory. You may not have heard of it yet, but it’s gaining steam, so it’s probably only a matter of time before you stumble across it.

You may not have heard. There is a conspiracy of military, corporate and political interests to dissolve the borders between Canada, the US and Mexico, and create a single North American Union under their despotic control. This going on in secret (of course), with the willing collaboration of our elected officials (of course) and the intentional silence of the mainstream media (of course!).

For some people, this will sound like a no-brainer (and ironically, it is). Others may require a bit of evidence. And boy, is there evidence! Website after website containing page after page… of… well… not much evidence at all. I know, I’ve waded through much of it, and it’s a pretty sad state of affairs.

Most of it is pure speculation. It typically starts by pointing out that these talks have gone on in secret. You might rightly ask how, if the talks are held in secret, do the conspiracy theorists know what is going on in them? Hey, Mister, if you’re trying to use logic, you already don’t belong in this crowd. The answer is that they fill in the unknown blanks with pure speculation, which they back up by quoting each other. That’s right, conspiracy theorist A backs up his claims by quoting from conspiracy theorist B, with a link to the website of conspiracy theorist C. As you can imagine, it gets very incestuous, very fast. And it inevatibly ends up involving pictures of the twin towers coming down, because hey, all this shit is interconnected.

The hard part was finding anything at all that came from a valid, verifiable source. Eventually, I found the official website for the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America. It refers to an agreement between the three gov’ts in question, to cooperate on such foul skull-duggery as… combatting avian flu. Real evil stuff.

I even managed to see a copy of the minutes of one of the meetings, obtained through the Access to Information Act. Again, it revealed discussions on such evil-doings as border security and emergency management. Merger of the three nations into one? Nope, not mentioned.

But aha, you say. These traitors would never actually admit to their conspiracy or its aims. Well, to that I say, show me the evidence. You can’t just say that because we can’t see behind this door, that proves there must be a three-headed monster behind it. Until you can actually bring the monster into view, all the wild speculation in the universe isn’t going to convince an intelligent observer.

Because, really, let’s get serious. Let’s imagine that Stephen Harper has worked so hard, for so long, to become the Prime Minister of Canada… only so that he can hand over the keys to the country. If that doesn’t strain your credibility, then try imagining that Jack Layton and the Bloc Quebecois know all about it and are dancing right along with the tune of assimilation into the US. Please tell me that’s hard to believe. Next imagine that the entire mainstream press has agreed to keep it all hush-hush so as not to alarm the masses. Good heavens, if you’ll believe all that, then just give me all your money, and I promise I’ll keep the elves from stealing your tin-foil hat. Might I also recommend the Flat Earth Society?

Might I dare to point out that, if you think war is bad (and it is), then perhaps diplomacy is good? Perhaps it’s a good idea for nations to talk to each other, and where it is beneficial to both nations, to cooperate? Trust me, we want our leaders to have communication and dialogue. We want our leaders to pursue and make international agreements. It’s the way forward, not some evil plot to steal your country from underneath you. What if we all lived our lives that way, refusing to speak to one another, trade, make agreements, etc? It would be a very different world indeed, and not a better one.



  1. Dude … Illuminati … It’s more real than you think!

  2. Word… it’s not paranoia if they really are all out to get you!

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